do more of what makes you happy.

This week something occurred to me amidst a very busy first week of holidays with four children at home. Right in the middle of numerous trips to Brisbane for OT appointments for Sno, getting stuck in traffic, trying to stay on top of mess and clutter in a house we have only lived in a month which is at least half the size smaller than our previous house, wrangling a baby, keeping three older children happily occupied with various projects and topics of interest….. 

Then it occurred to me like a clearing in the sky:

So much of daily life is spent being busy doing *all* the things. Friends often are hard to pin down because they’re also busy doing all their things. 

cleaning.
cooking.
organising.
buying.
laundry.
splitting up sibling fights.
running to appointments.
making phone calls.
trying to have a displaced, rushed conversation with our other half. 

All this stuff is just done as autopilot, surviving – trying to make it until the next little space of moment where we can just sit and catch our breath.

But it’s occurred to me this week like a huge sounding gong in the most obvious way – that what if it didn’t need to be like this? What if we could dedicate more time doing things we actually love?

So few of our time is spent doing stuff we actually *like* doing or derive joy from. Parenting consciously is hard-work at times, an ever-evolving lesson. And yet so many parents are trapped in the eternal cycle of guilt from not putting their children first for even just fifteen minutes while they enjoy some solitude or time dedicated to their own interests.

So then what happens is then this underlying festering resentment monster builds up and we begin to snap and our fuse gets short and our relationships with our significant other and relationship with self and self-worth begin to get even more fragmented … and around the cycle goes.

It is important for children to see their parents pursuing their own goals, dreams and enjoyments. It is healthy for children’s sense of identity and self to understand that they actually do *not* centre in everyone’s universe, all the time.

It’ll be an adjustment, sure. There will be tears and angry displays of learning when their needs cannot be met instantaneously. But this doesn’t mean it isn’t still important.

So think for a moment what makes you happy? Make a list even. 

Here’s mine:
-Running on the beach, alone.
-Cooking new recipes.
-Eating breakfast with my husband.
-Reading a non-parenting/ASD related book.
-Arting.
-Drinking tea on the deck.
-Walks by the lighthouse.
-Yoga on the deck.
-Writing.

Once you’ve made your list I encourage you to make time every day to pursue at least *one* item. And if that means telling your child that they’ll have to wait – that’s OK. Still do it. And have the conversation about how you’re important, too. And happiness isn’t something that comes automatically – you actually need to make time for it in your life, once you’ve worked out how to get it.

It’s helping me. And it’s benefitting them as well, because my better mood is evident. 

So what’s on your list?